Road Rule #1: Cellphones are a stupid stick.

Apparently people are unable to drive when they have a cell phone stapled to their head. I just don’t get it. I have a cell phone. It’s my primary means of communication. I don’t have a land line. I talk on my cell phone when I drive (GASP).

See, everybody automatically assumes that if you talk on a cell phone when your driving, it means that you can’t drive anymore. Some scientists have even compared the impairment of a cell to being drunk and sitting behind the wheel. I’ve never driven drunk, so I can’t compare the two, but I do know that when I’m on the phone and driving, the phone is third priority. First priority behind the wheel, the road in front of you. Second priority, the road around you. Third priority, anything else that might cause you to stop putting attention on priorities one and two.

I can hear it now. “Well, if talking on a cell phone doesn’t cause you to lose concentration on the road, I don’t know what does then.” Simple. Scanning your ipod for the perfect next track: Bad. Texting “OMG the chick/guy driving next to me is so hot” to your friends: Bad. Programming the address into your GPS: bad. All of these things should either be done by a passenger, or not until you pull off to the side of the road. But talking on a cell phone? Seriously. Can you not hold a conversation with one of your passengers? What the hell is the difference? In fact, I would think that a cell phone would improve upon that because your not tempted to look at the person your talking to.

Yes, of course, holding something up to your head while you drive can be distracting. Honestly, get a headset. Wired, wireless, speakerphone, you know, anything that takes the phone off your head so both hands are free to be on the wheel, and your elbow is not blocking off half of your vision. When I’m talking on my cell, it’s never against my head when I’m driving. I have a bluetooth stereo for that. It cost me around $400, but you know, I have a lot of features on that stereo. I’ve seen one at Futureshop for $120 that does the bluetooth speakerphone part. My phone came with a wired headset. Bluetooth headsets are a lot cheaper than higher insurance premiums. “Oh that doesn’t help, it’s a band-aide.” Are you kidding me? Being able to see the entire road is a huge improvement over having your hand by your eyes. Try it right now. Pick something in your perifrial vision, take out your cell phone, and put it up to your head on that side. Can you still see said object? No? Guess what, headset = better.

Now, I’m not saying there aren’t people out there that shouldn’t talk on a cell phone while there driving. All of us have had the experience of “Holy Crap! That guy just cut me off! Oh, he’s talking on a cell phone. Dick.” I think that’s more a case of the person shouldn’t be behind the wheel of a car period more than blaming it on the phone. I’ve also had numerous cases of “Jack ass MUST be on a cell phone.” But they aren’t. They’re just oblivious to the world around them.

I seriously think that in order to get your license in Canada, every driver should go through a mandatory 40 hours of driver training from a government department. Said driving instruction should also include at least 8 hours of skid pad training. I mean, I don’t know a lot of people that go and take their driving exam in a blizzard. It’s normally a good day, sun is out, not a lot of wind, no ice on the road… We live in CANADA! WE GET SNOW!! You should probably learn to drive on it.

Now, having said that, I didn’t even go through the optional driver training. Well, how did I learn how to drive on the ice then? Simple. I was a jack ass when I first got my license. Driving a front wheel drive car is great in the winter. Getting a front wheel drive car to powerslide, not quite so easy with the underpowered thing I had. ’88 Nissan Sentra XE I think… somewhere in the 80’s anyway. I was constantly trying to get that thing sideways. A couple of times I got it all the way around, which wasn’t so cool. Do I think that what I did was stupid? Absolutely. Do I regret it? Not one bit.

I learned what the limitations of my car were. I knew what it took to get the car to slide. I knew when to start braking. (Unfortunately, I didn’t learn when to stop braking, but there was no damage to the car in front of me because of the amount of ice. And I learned after that.) Every car I take for a drive now, I have a basic feel for how it’s going to handle. I don’t delude myself that I know exactly how it’s going to handle, I need a couple months in good weather and bad to be able to do that, and even then, I still don’t know exactly how it’s going to handle, because I’m not trying to push it to the limit. And road conditions vary depending on if the road was salted, what kind of paving they used, when they salted the road, or even if they salted the road all come into account. But that’s why I think every driver should be put on a skid pad before they are allowed to drive in the winter. They need to learn that the vehicle will behave differently in different conditions. I don’t even answer my phone when the conditions are bad. I don’t talk to my passengers when the conditions are bad. I turn off the music when the conditions are bad. Pay attention to the road. Primary responsibility.

Wow… this kinda took off from just cell phones… oh well.

Meh.